Contemplating Stasis

I feel like I’ve only just returned to the metaverse, and now it’s time to return to my avatar to stasis yet again.

contemplating stasis

In meatspace, I feel like I’ve only just arrived at my partner’s.  Now the time is drawing near in which I must leave the place that’s Not-Quite-Home-Yet, and return to a place that Isn’t-Really-Home-Anymore.

Some of my loyal readers & followers know this already, but I was very active in Second Life from 2005-2012, when my PC unexpectedly died, irreparably.  I got a refurbished laptop to help me get through community college, but unfortunately it wasn’t good for much more than homework assignments, Skype, and the internet.  Heavy-duty graphics just aren’t going to happen on that thing.

With my extremely low income, there was no way for me to afford a new computer.  I left my formerly-decent job as a bookseller of 14+ years at the end of 2013.  In the span of a few years, I went from full-time hours, full benefits, paid vacations, sick time, etc. to less than 10 hours a week, with no more raises, and benefits for part-timers eliminated.  It was a dead end, so I figured it was time to just quit and to go back to school full time and finally get to work on my Fine Arts degree. I worked in the school’s library, but that was only a handful of hours per week, and my busy school schedule did not give me enough time to get another job on top of that.  So, I took an unwilling, prolonged hiatus from SL.

Occasionally, I’ve been able to log in via the text-based Radegast viewer (yeah, it has some very limited 3D scene rendering, but totally not worth it for a visuals-junkie like me). Less frequently, I have able to log in using my partner’s laptop while visiting him on the other side of the country.  I’m sitting here typing this post on it now.

This has been a longer visit than usual; I’ve been here since Boxing Day.  Because I knew I’d have a few months to spend in the metaverse, I thought I’d try to establish myself again.  I’m not gonna lie — it has been more difficult than I expected it to be.  When I left SL, Mesh was just beginning to take hold as a building medium; now it has taken over the grid.  In a conversation with some fellow artists recently, I said that I feel as if I has been in a meta-coma of sorts for the past couple of years, and now that I’ve woken up, I have a lot of catching up to do.  It’s almost overwhelming.

And I will have to take my leave again — and return my cyberspace self to stasis.  My last day on the grid (until I can get a new machine) will be on Tuesday, the 17th of March — the last day I will be at my partner’s for the time being.

Leaving my partner’s place, and the metaverse, will have more emotional complications than usual.  When I return back to my home back East, it will likely be for the last time — at least for the foreseeable future.  Over the spring & most of the summer, I will be planning the arduous task of moving to my partner’s.  It will be a bittersweet move.  I love WA a lot, and after spending so much time here with my partner, I definitely feel at home here.  However, I have lived in New England for my entire life, and there will be things I miss about it terribly — including my best friend, my cats, and my family.  If only I could continue to live in two places during different parts of the year, I would find a way to make it happen — but that just is not financially possible, at least now.

See you on the other side — in one way or another.

( * If you are interested in donating to help me fund a new computer, you can do that –> here.)

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